It's Time To Race

[shredder]

We have to get this race season kicked off soon! Just got off the phone with Mother Nature, she says we will get this party started! OK then!

I'm posting this because I need some advice. I started getting all the signs that the wife was doing "extracurricular" activities. Things like when I answer the phone and no one is there, she was staying out late on weekends with "friends", blocked phone numbers - you get the idea. So I hide out in the garage last week and crouched down between the the Husky and the old trusty Honda when the garage door goes up around 2:30 am and she gets out of this strange SUV and walks through the garage to get upstairs. I went to jump up and confront her and my pant leg got caught on the Husky's skid plate and I go flying across the garage and smash my face right into the door to the house just as it closes! She didn't even see me in the dark I'm guessin, and I ripped up a brand new pair of Levi's to boot.

My question is this; If that aluminum skid plate is so torn up and cracked enough to catch my pants leg, can I pound it out with a hammer then get it welded or just buy a new one?

[czrider]

Get a weegie board, watch old videos and hide behind the Honda. Repeat, "It's only a week", until the chills go away.

[shredder]

Thank goodness she doesn't make me take off my helmet and goggles at the dinner table anymore, that has helped the shaking and uncontrolled drooling. Doctor Zippy says sleeping in the garage for another week might be a good idea also. I'm supposed to double down on the blue pills, stop taking the white pills and keep the multi-colored pill dosage the same.

Pssst...WireFryer turned me on to doctor Zippy and I'm sorta worried as he wears a monkey mask in his office. The part that worries me is that it's not a planet of the apes mask but a clown monkey mask. Hmmm...His concoctions do help the shaking, drooling, and hair standing straight out but I gotta do something about the eyes bulging thing...Hmmmmm lets see here go to ask a doc.com....

Any advice on shaving with your helmet on?

Let's get this party started already!

[WireFryer]

I forgot to tell ya', Dennis.... be very prompt on paying Dr. Zippys' bill for services.

His "Collection" team makes the IRS Legal Branch look like the St. Judes Boys Choir .

Tim
#785

[shredder]

Just got the clinic bill today - NAILED TO THE FRIGGIN HOUSE! When you said Dr Zippy didn't cost no money at all I thought you meant he was CHEAP, with his clinic in his house and all. I got his bill. It say's 2 rabbit tails and 2 bat eyes - one each from different bats OR one wild boar tusk and a Robins egg. ??? It says I got till midnight on the 7th (race day)
Now I need that witch Wirefryer knows in NewOrleans (now I know why he even KNOWS a witch in New Orleans)

SHEESE - I just can't wait till the season opener - ya know?

[slomojo]

Dr. Zippy? What ya doing? Trying to pull a Lance Armstrong on us?

Good thing we're amateurs otherwise we'd all be drug screened.

Be real interesting what they might find in the senior class.

[bshack]

Shredder would pop positive for Metamucil!

[WireFryer]

Dr. Zippy? What ya doing? Trying to pull a Lance Armstrong on us?

Hell yeah, Joe! Look at how long he got away with it ! Besides, us Seasoned Vets are firm believers in 'Better Living thru Chemistry'.

The 500, 700, and 1000 lines really should have class sponsorship from Aleve, Advil, The MidWest Chiropractic Association, and whatever local Orthopedic Surgeon wants to chip in... just like Monster Energy wallpapers the start line of the SX Series .

Whoop!

Tim
#785

[shredder]

Awe shudddup! I'm clean!

Sure I'm on Nexium for my stomach acid, and a few ibuprofen to help as an anti inflammatory (although even WITH Advil I can still get pretty inflamed during a race - dunno if they work or not..), maybe Geritol, Clariten and Viagra (figure if I'm in the woods for 2 hours I just might make some of my own wood - ya know? Just want to always be ready!), have a little hit of the shark cartilage to support what little meniscus I have left, Aleeve and Tylenol on board if the Advil needs a little kick in the pants, now this is all pre-race and during the race. Naturally AFTER the race is a different menu, this is where I have 2 choices of muscle relaxers, oxy cotton, oxycodone, oxycodine, hydrocodone, a few tramadol and vicoden here and there as an elixir you know. I guess the mixture depends on how many come off's I have, how many trees nudge me, how many times I pick my bike up out of the mud and most important of all... it depends if the wife is driving home, I guess.

Now that I'm thinking about it, never mind.

[WireFryer]

Post-race, nothing beats a hot shower.... and two properly prepared shots of Absinthe to make ALL the pain go away

HeHeHe!

Tim
#785