Takin Out Da Trash!

[shredder]

This is the place to put down stuff that may have started in other threads, stuff that has a high quality BS value of at least 8.5 or better, or a dirty little secret that is just itching to go public.

First of all doesn't big john's (1027) tires always look flat even when there is 30 psi in them?

Tom (1035) has (at times) poor map reading skills. I tail this guy and just as I decide to rip past him in an epic pass we...we...we find ourselves lost in Martha's Vineyard or Big Al's salvage yard riding around hoping to see a red arrow SOMEWHERE! (I HATE shopping for stuff, ESPECIALLY RED ARROWS!)

Gibber (1063) and Todd (1036) changing bikes every 1/2 lap or so so I can't tell who the hell did what to me and when. Somehow the bikes or numbers change like in an old James Bond Flicks...hmmmmm.

JP actually literally has industrials strength velcro attached to his front fender so don't let him near your bike before the race! When he comes up to shake your hand before each race he is really sticking the "B" side of the industrial - military grade velcro to all the 1000 row rear fenders. It's designed to only last till the end of the races, then fall off. It works perfectly - just go check you bike and I bet you don't find any velcro on the rear fender....proves I'm right!

Stickney is in ca-hoots wit JP, simple as that. Why else would Dan make him write down "Stickney" as a last name on his sign up card?

Chew on THAT for a while.

Me- ? I'm just out there putting along trying to get some great close up pics of the 1000's in action. I do like to get a good money shot of the 1000's racing each other from the front view so I can get the front number plates in full clear view so when you see me just move over a bit so I can slide by you and I'll look back and get a shot of you with my LIC goggles. I'll share the pics with all after the race...Thanks!

[yellow jacket]

I resemble that remark. I can only think of going off track once at Merwin, once at Chanute, twice at Adrian and once at Milford. That means I did not get lost at Big Springs at all. I do not worry much about it becauce I always carry my AARP card.

[shredder]

OUCHY!
Truth be told Tom I've not yet followed you over to yon wonder pastures and looked around for the track. I did however got lost at the same point at the same track on the same day, just at a different time all on my own. But that in itself isn't very interesting is it? Most of the time the story is so much more fun than the facts....or "facts enhancement" as we say. Come on man your sitting at the top of the pole... I got absolutely nothing on ya at all on ya soooooooooooo, we automatically go to the "facts enhancement" file and roost ya a little! (well in this case maybe a lot, hee hee hee)

I usually pile it on so high no one usually stirs anything up because they are afraid of getting some BS on themselves!

[yellow jacket]

Just got the KTM/Suzuki back from the Wichita State University wind tunnel. The results are very interesting. It appears that the bike is slightly faster with Yellow paint over the Orange color. That means the old girl will be yellow next week. I do hope all those KTM's will be yellow for the next race. I will also have one more advantage, I have removed the compass off of the dashboard of my truck and installed it on the handlebars. LOL. Tom 1035 2005 Elsniore GP top 5 finisher

[J.P.]

OK, Its been kind of quite on here. It looks like Melvern got a little rain this week, lets hope it cuts the dust down a little so we can actually see the trail in front of us while following each other.
It appears everyone is going to bring their "A" game this weekend, even Tom had his bike painted back to yellow with some type of special N.A.S.A. paint he bought off from eBay that is designed for speeds similar to re-entering the atmosphere. I saw the wind tunnel results, I just hope he can keep the thing on the ground.

I wanted to address shredder's comment about me having Velcro on my front fender, but in my defense, I think I had a little sand (probably dust build up) stuck in my throttle tube which made my throttle stick open during the last few races. OK, maybe race mode kicked in and I was on a mission.
If I used Velcro it'll be on my tires to help keep up with this class.
What a season! I look forward to racing with everyone this weekend.
(BTW, Rocky Mountain ATV is all out of Velcro remover, so don't even try to order any).

[shredder]

I placed my order for the porcelain coated yellow Suzuki glaze with NASA and found that all is needed is a 2.75% downward deflection on the front fender to keep the bike down on the track. Rocky Mountain has the correct spacer plates for all models. Don't exceed this down degree angle or speeds reaching super sonic will completely compress your suspension making it a very rough ride and possible loss of control. It only comes in Suzuki Yellow which by design also deflects all types of radar by simply absorbing it.

Trouble is I don't have high enough security clearance to get any for my bike. I checked the AMA rue book and the lawyers say it's legal in off road competition as log as we don't jump higher that 32 feet in height - measured form the highest point of flight to the ground. It's working temperature ranges actually made the space shuttles completely obsolete so that's why the space shuttle program was shut down.

OK
1st -Does anyone have a security clearance of at least a #8 to purchase it for me, or a powder coating facility equipped with the GRP-257A air collection system to pass air quality emission standards ANSI 24387-85C, during the application process?

2nd - I can't find my "A" game, I must have misplaced it, so if anyone has one for sale please call me at 1-800 -RUN-FAST.

3rd - I also need a pair of water tight binoculars so I can keep and eye on Tm, JP and Big John from time to time because they can get so way ahead.

Alright, alright - I thinks it piled high enough now as I'm just barely able to see over the top of the pile now!. OH! I forgot to mention, Dan is requiring you present your "A" game cards to the ladies at sign up to get into the Gentlemen's Class. (Mine was revoked but you can purchase penalty suspension cards for 5 bucks.)

Thanks for listening in!

See ya at the Melvern...MELVERN OR BUST! LET"S GET IT ON!

[yellow jacket]

OMG, I cannot believe it. My wife slammed my hand in the car door, again. She is still upset over the fact that I chose to race Merwin instead of celebrating our 35th anniversery. I like pain, but come on. On top of that my fingers are full of metal splinters from hollowing out all the screws on JP's KTM. We have been trying to get it to accelerate quicker and weight reduction is the best way to improve the horsepower per pound.

I spoke to Dan about using a different type of start this weekend. We were discussing a start that has never been done before. We thought that we should remove the engines from our bikes and placed in a pile. When the flag drops, we grab our engines and reassemble them in the frame and then start racing. It will only be a two lap race, so no one will get tired. The best part is that shredder will have to call Donnell's and have them install it for him. This will give Gibber at least a one lap lead, unless his air filter is consumed by his engine.

Tom B.
1035

[shredder]

Dan called me about the new start. To keep it fair all I gotta do is put the gas cap back on. (and I can use hand written instruction notes - but only on 3 x 5 note cards - 10 note cards max but no pictorials.)

[slomojo]

Don't under estimate Shredders' mechanical ability, I once saw him dismount a rear tire in seconds and that was during a race!