WARNING! VERY FUNNY READ, PLEASE BE CAREFUL THAT YOU DON'T HURT YOURSELF LAUGHING AT THIS POST!!!
hey...it could happen...
First of all Dan I want to know what ya did with the etiquette classes money your folks gave you? Shame on you! I bet you spent it on knobby tires and suspension work. HHHMMMM
1st
Peewee help
Erik Radzins
Mike Gulley
Ok Dan, it's NOT polite to point out that Erik and Mike may be a little shorter or not quite as smart as the other guys but please don't label them "pee wees" - at least not on the web site you fool! That's just downright insensitive.
2nd
Sweep riders (at least six)
David Martley
Doug Hunziker
Jeff Buckingham
We have all riders with different capabilities, some riders can rock n roll and some - well not so much.... but it's not nice to put Doug, David and Jeff all together on a list labeled "sweep riders" and then post it up on the web site asking for more riders at least six years old - another oversight on your part. Man that's just embarrassing. (whadda ya thinkin?)
3rd
Back up sheets for one or both races (this one is ideal for JR class and injured riders)
Erik Radzins
It's fine to keep track of anyone who happens to "back up" at the start or at scoring and write them all down but to date this year not one racer has backed up...EVER... Everyone has had forward motion. I'm guessing Erik has an easy job there.
4th
Scoring lane person to slow riders and make sure we get the numbers.
Ok well another fopa, simple as that. It's just like the "SLOW - CHILDREN" sign in our neighborhood at the cross walk. Why point out that we have slow children? I'm under the contention that maybe the slow children were happy not realizing that they are slow until one day the city comes and puts a sign up...? We shouldn't give a special scoring lane person for each slow person. It just brings out even more attention to us slow dudes and I'm pretty certain that after 6 years of racing FMHSC, you got my number by now...OK? Moving on...
5th
Sign up / Greeter position just to help folks pick the correct class
Erik Radzins
As far as the greeters, well that's a good thing - heck I've even been a greeter several times and enjoyed it very much, but why do you always want us to point out what class a rider should be in? Some people HATE to be judged...yup... I always go to sign up and ask the greeters opinion and always get put down in the lower class no matter what kind of shoes or shirt I wear and what kind of bike I'm riding. I also found out the new riders NEVER want us greeters to tell them what class we think their wives should be in either. Shoot even if you say the dudes wife should be in a way higher class than he is you still got a pretty good chance of getting the guy all hot under the collar! I just don't get it...... One time I had to take off running full tilt one morning while wearing my racing boots to get away from this wise guy who didn't like me putting his wife about six classes higher that the one he ought to be in....almost got my lights put out, he was hotter than chocolate chip cookie tray just outta th oven for sure! Spilled my coffee on my pants and shirt when I dove under your RV ducking for cover...By the way you got your moneys worth out of your rear shocks, when I banged my head on the frame rail during my dirt dive I looked up and saw those horrific, ugly, worn out shocks...get off your wallet and go get some new rear shocks for crying out loud!
When the large angry man was pulling me out from under your rig by my boots (I was fine till his wife says "thats the sweetest thing I ever heard!"), I was desperately flailing my hands around (in the manliest - toughest way possible) - trying to locate a handhold quickly I also noticed feather edging on the front left tire - probably caster or camber out of specs or maybe an alignment issue, could even be worn out ball joints - get that checked out too....
I just don't get it.......oh well......guess I'm just getting bored throwing darts at ol joray's picture in the garage.....need to get out and burn some gas...
I've been just itching to do a write up about something...ANYTHING! 
So I was thinking to myself that the next new topic someone posts that I'm just going to jump in feet first and have a go at it. Of course wouldn't you just know it's gotta be Dan doing the usual blah, blah, blah.